Am bored. Shall now inflict quizzes on you

Your aura shines Orange!


What Color Is Your Aura?
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In a Past Life...

You Were: A Magician. Where You Lived: Chile. How You Died: In Battle.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

A blog that very well may not make any sense

I'm blogging today for a very specific reason. Very specific. So specific that the minutest words in the english language fail to fully express the specificity.

Mostly I just feel like writing something, crap though it may turn out. Let's see, um...

hm....
hmmm....
hmmmmmm....

Okay, introspective, that's what I usually do here, right?

I've been noticing a disturbing trend in the distance I keep people. I think exactly two people have ever made it past arms length with me. It's partially a defense mechanism.

I think my biggest reasoning behind it is that I usually feel like people want to let YOU in, but don't care about being let in. Most people seem to care about being listened to, but scarce is the ear that listens as much as it's accompanying mouth speaks. (What's really funny is when you find someone who asks what's wrong and assures you they want to listen, then they go off on a tangent about themselves).

Why do people have so much fun talking about themselves? I HATE talking about myself to other people (now online is a different story). They don't understand 9 times out of 10 what I'm trying to say, so I come off as weird. I hate that.

I guess I want to find someone interested enough in me and my well being to see what goes on here between my ears. To reach out and understand. I guess it's my own fault. I don't exactly go searching for kindred souls to join to. It used to be so easy. In High School they came to me. They found me when they wanted someone who could understand crazy thoughts, dreams, fantasies, and whimsies. I've never been good with advice, but I like to hear people talk. I don't know how to establish a basic relation with most people though.

How do you learn to open up? How do you learn to make close friends? Better yet, where do you go to find the stock of people you'd like to be friends with? Any comments would be appreciated.

So I'm here again, sitting on my bed in the early morning hours typing away at my keyboard, living. I love my life.

I've come to realize that life is found in those few hours in the day you squeeze in between work, school, girls, boys, or what have you. Living is those moments in the bookstore, when there's a million other things you should be doing, but you just stay there and browse because you want to.

It's those extra minutes you sit in the cafe, talking with your friends even though you've got someplace else to be.

Life is not found in books, degrees, promotions, or raises. It's in those spare moments, on your best days and on your worst, when you can simply sit back and feel. Have a cold drink after a hard day, eat a good meal on your day off.

It's good to be alive. It's good to understand death as a trasition, and to really start to believe in the immortality of the soul. When you know what's going to happen, at least to some degree, it adds some comfort.

It's good to be alive. To drink orange juice, and go for a walk, and work, and sleep, and write. I don't always appreciate it like I should. I know this now. But it feels good in these quiet morning hours just to live.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Matthew E. Barrington
Birthday: March 9, 1984
Birthplace: American Fork, UT
Current Location: American Fork, UT
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'3"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Mostly english with a measure of Irish and Scandinavian thrown in for good measure
The Shoes You Wore Today: My red Nike's
Your Weakness: Self-doubt
Your Fears: That I'll wind up married to a woman I hate and get stuck in a job I despise.
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni, Mushrooms, and Extra cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Gain confidence in myself
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: Whoever decided that the day should start in the morning was a complete and total masochist.
Your Best Physical Feature: My strength, it's nice to be able to lift heavy objects
Your Bedtime: Usually after 2, though I'm working my way into midnight if I can.
Your Most Missed Memory: Lunchtime in the commons area with all my friends.
Pepsi or Coke: Cherry Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Depends on the mood/buckage/location
Single or Group Dates: Yes
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Don't touch the stuff
Chocolate or Vanilla: Double Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: I don't really know the difference.
Do you Smoke: nope
Do you Swear: *&%% yeah!
Do you Sing: not as often as I'd like
Do you Shower Daily: generally
Have you Been in Love: yes
Do you want to go to College: yes
Do you want to get Married: very much
Do you belive in yourself: Not enough, but I'm working on it
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: Depends on the day
Are you a Health Freak: Not nearly enough. I celebrate life with food!
Do you get along with your Parents: there's a little underlying tension, but yes for the most part.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Very much
Do you play an Instrument: guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs: nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No, but, I should really fix that.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes, OH yes!
In the past month have you been on Stage: Much to my deep chagrin, no.
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yes, I am a pen stealing bandit.
Ever been Drunk: NopeEver been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: yes
How do you want to Die: In a way that will make people laugh. Like getting run over by a clown car with all the clowns standing around me :)
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: An inventor!
What country would you most like to Visit: Toss up between Ireland and China
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Brown
Favourite Hair Color: Dark Brown
Short or Long Hair: Long, so I can play with it.
Height: Doesn't much matter, though I find short girls super cute and tall girls are easier to dance with.
Weight: I like them a little bit lighter,
Best Clothing Style: stuff that fits?
Number of Drugs I have taken: Effexor, albuterol, demoral,
Number of CDs I own: around 20
Number of Piercings: Well, I did stick myself with a needle today.
Number of Tattoos: I have a nice little mark where I got electrocuted today.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Just 2

You know, these surveys are a lot like taking a look in the mirror. They sort of remind you of who you are. Sometimes defending who you are and where you come from is that way too. Makes for a nice reminder. That is all.

Mystery car sounds

Have you ever been driving, and heard/seen/smelt/felt something that let you know something was wrong with your car? The car still runs, though not as well, and you know you need to fix it, but you don't know how?

That's rather been my mood lately, but with my life as opposed to my car. Something isn't right. I don't know what it is, nor do I know how to fix it, but there is something wrong, elusive though it may be.

But where do you go to find a mechanic for a life? He's not listed in the yellow pages (I know, I checked), he doesn't have a catchy jingle, and I haven't seen a sign lately that says "Life Mechanic, we finance all life changes with nothing down!".

Maybe my analogy holds true, in that we don't always need a professional to fix that sound. Sometimes it's just combining our heads with someone who knows the make and model well.

The problem here is that we are each much more unique than any car ever built. We have more complicated parts than the finest German engineering, and programming the greatest SysAdmin wouldn't touch.

It seems we are left to tinker around under our own hoods, to twist here, pull there, tweak here, and tune there until we're running smoothly again.

So the fact is, we only have one choice. It's not easy, and it involves getting grease up to our elbows. We must each become an engineer, one with a doctoral degree in our own lives. We must know on a higher level not only the stuff we are made of, but of what that stuff can be when everything is in it's proper, working order.

You know, when you think about it, our lives, like a car, can take us anywhere we want to direct them, but only when in it's proper, working, and running order.

Meme, and announcement

So two things. One, I opened a myspace account, so I'll probably start updating that blog as well. I may wind up phasing this one out entirely, but not immediately. My Myspace addy is http://blog.myspace.com/latterdaywarrior

Meme
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
phetic calling, (4) a curse against anyone who might “take away” the book, probably “due to fear lest a…”
--Lehi and the Desert, Hugh Nibley

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I find my bedpost.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The trailer for The Fantastic 4 dvd at work

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
1:30

5. Now look at the clock, What is the acutal time?
1:57

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The heater in the hallway

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I was walking into my house after work.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Myspace.com

9. What are you wearing?
A t-shirt and sleeping pants

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes, about what? No clue.

11. When did you last laugh?
If sardonically counts, at work tonight when I found out why a guy I work with has a problem w/ me.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Flowery wallpaper, dried roses (I am SO redecorating this room)

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yup.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
A healthy dose of insanity in a far too sane world

15. What is the last film you saw?
King Kong

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I’d reinvest part of it in passive assets that multiply over the course of several years. Then I’d buy a bookstore, a castle in Ireland/Scotland, and a private jet/helicopter.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
In High School I had a pocket sized pet dragon. I wonder when I last fed him, anyway….

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Apathy. I think it’s the cause of the biggest set of the worlds problems.

19. Do you like to dance?
Like, yes. Feel comfortable with, no. (hey, one misstep from my sz. 14’s and my partner won’t be dancing for a while)

20. George Bush:
Ummm….Texas, right? The answer’s Texas.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Elaina

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?


23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes, I think I would, were the right person/’s with me.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
A bit cliché, maybe, but “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in THEIR journal:
Chelsey (do you even read this blog?), Milla (once again if you see this) Josh, Mer, and Thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooozy.

Your 2005 Song Is

Beverly Hills by Weezer "My automobile is a piece of crap My fashion sense is a little whack And my friends are just as screwy as me" You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style!

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

And when I say my friends are just as screwy as me, I mean every word of it exactly as it sounds. I mean, they hang around me, so that constitutes some weird, right?

Hey, what can I say? It fits the year pretty well. I don't think I've ever had a wasted year, but this was as close to one as I've had. It got a lot better towards the end, though.

I think I need to adopt the Ferris Buehler theory. "Life moves fast, and if you don't stop once in a while to take a look around, you might miss it."

That's my resolution, what's yours?