A blog that very well may not make any sense
I'm blogging today for a very specific reason. Very specific. So specific that the minutest words in the english language fail to fully express the specificity.
Mostly I just feel like writing something, crap though it may turn out. Let's see, um...
hm....
hmmm....
hmmmmmm....
Okay, introspective, that's what I usually do here, right?
I've been noticing a disturbing trend in the distance I keep people. I think exactly two people have ever made it past arms length with me. It's partially a defense mechanism.
I think my biggest reasoning behind it is that I usually feel like people want to let YOU in, but don't care about being let in. Most people seem to care about being listened to, but scarce is the ear that listens as much as it's accompanying mouth speaks. (What's really funny is when you find someone who asks what's wrong and assures you they want to listen, then they go off on a tangent about themselves).
Why do people have so much fun talking about themselves? I HATE talking about myself to other people (now online is a different story). They don't understand 9 times out of 10 what I'm trying to say, so I come off as weird. I hate that.
I guess I want to find someone interested enough in me and my well being to see what goes on here between my ears. To reach out and understand. I guess it's my own fault. I don't exactly go searching for kindred souls to join to. It used to be so easy. In High School they came to me. They found me when they wanted someone who could understand crazy thoughts, dreams, fantasies, and whimsies. I've never been good with advice, but I like to hear people talk. I don't know how to establish a basic relation with most people though.
How do you learn to open up? How do you learn to make close friends? Better yet, where do you go to find the stock of people you'd like to be friends with? Any comments would be appreciated.
Mostly I just feel like writing something, crap though it may turn out. Let's see, um...
hm....
hmmm....
hmmmmmm....
Okay, introspective, that's what I usually do here, right?
I've been noticing a disturbing trend in the distance I keep people. I think exactly two people have ever made it past arms length with me. It's partially a defense mechanism.
I think my biggest reasoning behind it is that I usually feel like people want to let YOU in, but don't care about being let in. Most people seem to care about being listened to, but scarce is the ear that listens as much as it's accompanying mouth speaks. (What's really funny is when you find someone who asks what's wrong and assures you they want to listen, then they go off on a tangent about themselves).
Why do people have so much fun talking about themselves? I HATE talking about myself to other people (now online is a different story). They don't understand 9 times out of 10 what I'm trying to say, so I come off as weird. I hate that.
I guess I want to find someone interested enough in me and my well being to see what goes on here between my ears. To reach out and understand. I guess it's my own fault. I don't exactly go searching for kindred souls to join to. It used to be so easy. In High School they came to me. They found me when they wanted someone who could understand crazy thoughts, dreams, fantasies, and whimsies. I've never been good with advice, but I like to hear people talk. I don't know how to establish a basic relation with most people though.
How do you learn to open up? How do you learn to make close friends? Better yet, where do you go to find the stock of people you'd like to be friends with? Any comments would be appreciated.
posted by Matt at 1:04 AM
4 Comments:
Hello, Matt. You remember where you found those kindred spirits? Return there, dear (and I'm not talking High School!). You'll find what you're looking for if you just keep looking. Believe me... I have. Hope your day is bright and sunny (through all the snow clouds) and your outlook toward the heavens.
*listening*
*still listening* and also, those people show up when least expected, so stop looking and they'll jump out of bushes and fall out of the sky...
That. Is. Bizzare.
I was making a similar observation just last Sunday, about people who liked to talk all the time but didn't seem to enjoy any listening so much. I think some people are so listening-impaired mostly because they either find themselves very interesting, are insecure, or just like to hear the sound of their own voice. Sometimes that's annoying, partly because it can feel like you're giving and giving and not getting anything in return. Other times, it makes for a nice distraction.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark, but I'm going to guess that in high school you had the opportunity to interact with wider, broader, and more varied social circles than what you do now for one reason or another. Mebbe trying to broaden your horizons would be a refreshing change? ...or there's always the chance that whatever it is you're looking for is right under your nose. Naturally, finding this "whatever" requires stepping back...or a mirror...some tricky change of perspective.
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