Don't you hate it when people don't update their blogs?
So everything is akimbo right now.
I say akimbo because akimbo is a word that's highly underutilized in the english language. I respect my readers percipiance, so if you don't get it, go masticate your own aliment.
Hey, that was fun!
On to me, then. I think I've been trying to compensate for being alone by taking jobs that pay insane amounts of money but isolate me from social situations. Sadly the side-effect here is I remain alone.
There is a girl I keep thinking about, though she's a thousand miles away. I keep wondering if I'll ever see her again, or if she'll ever want to see me again. My once powerful self-confidence is again reduced to cinders at the prospect of a girl that closely resembles a fantastic dream, though I'm finding more and more of my old confidence all the time.
I keep meeting them, these amazing creatures, and I let them go, because I over analyze every situation I get into. I think of all the things I'd like to say to them, then watch for a moment, never trying to create one. Then a friend moves in, guts and heart in hand, and does what I hadn't mustered the courage to do.
I'm trying to live in my gut more, to trust those feelings I get without thinking about them so much. Feelings for events and feelings for people, it seems the two are first cousins, if not one and the same.
I've been trying to stop worrying about money so much. Once I did so, things started falling into place for me financially. I've now had a job offer, which I took, and a request for an interview. This is good for the self-esteem as a resume writer. Now if I can just convince myself that I can still do the things I've done before, I'll be set. You don't really think of confidence as being tied to memory, but there it is. I find myself questioning whether I can really do something, when the fact is, I've done similar things in the past. The questions come when I realize I'm not on the cutting edge anymore. The answer comes that the cutting edge is just a study session or two away.
I'm mending, healing somehow. It's inexplicable. I'm just finally starting to be myself again. It feels pretty good.
I say akimbo because akimbo is a word that's highly underutilized in the english language. I respect my readers percipiance, so if you don't get it, go masticate your own aliment.
Hey, that was fun!
On to me, then. I think I've been trying to compensate for being alone by taking jobs that pay insane amounts of money but isolate me from social situations. Sadly the side-effect here is I remain alone.
There is a girl I keep thinking about, though she's a thousand miles away. I keep wondering if I'll ever see her again, or if she'll ever want to see me again. My once powerful self-confidence is again reduced to cinders at the prospect of a girl that closely resembles a fantastic dream, though I'm finding more and more of my old confidence all the time.
I keep meeting them, these amazing creatures, and I let them go, because I over analyze every situation I get into. I think of all the things I'd like to say to them, then watch for a moment, never trying to create one. Then a friend moves in, guts and heart in hand, and does what I hadn't mustered the courage to do.
I'm trying to live in my gut more, to trust those feelings I get without thinking about them so much. Feelings for events and feelings for people, it seems the two are first cousins, if not one and the same.
I've been trying to stop worrying about money so much. Once I did so, things started falling into place for me financially. I've now had a job offer, which I took, and a request for an interview. This is good for the self-esteem as a resume writer. Now if I can just convince myself that I can still do the things I've done before, I'll be set. You don't really think of confidence as being tied to memory, but there it is. I find myself questioning whether I can really do something, when the fact is, I've done similar things in the past. The questions come when I realize I'm not on the cutting edge anymore. The answer comes that the cutting edge is just a study session or two away.
I'm mending, healing somehow. It's inexplicable. I'm just finally starting to be myself again. It feels pretty good.
posted by Matt at 9:13 PM
1 Comments:
:) Glad to hear you're on the mend, my friend. If you wanna chat, you know my number.
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